I've been thinking lately about some "what ifs". It seems like everyone around me is having babies right now, and I so I'm hearing all about who is going to take care of the baby once the mother goes back to work, and that sort of stuff. Then I wonder about who would take care of my baby if/when I have one.
Talking about that sort of stuff reminds me that my family is spread out all over the country. Literally from coast to coast. We're so far away we can't even drive to see each other. (there might be one exception to that...Denver-KC). I know other families that have a member or two far away from them, but most families have a central place to go to see each other, where many of them live. Many families only have to drive across town. My family doesn't have that--which makes holidays and other gatherings difficult, time-consuming, and expensive.
So the " what if " I've been thinking about is related to this geographic dispersion issue. I wonder why my family is so spread out. Not one of us live in the same city, let alone the same state. What caused us to all feel little attachment to one place? Why aren't any of us considering moving to a place where someone else lives?
For me at least, I wonder if it doesn't have something to do with moving to another state when we were younger. When I was in high school and Emily was in grade school we moved to Minnesota for one year, and then we returned to Cincy. I can remember trying to make the best of it (as I always did---better to make others happy than for me to happy---but then again, half the time I didn't even know what I was feeling), and I also recall telling my cousins that moving was an experience that made me stronger and that I would feel comfortable moving somewhere else new if needed (I wanted to be / seem to be, a wise, self-sufficient 17yr old). In order for me to make that first move, I think I had to emotionally detach myself from any one place, knowing that I could move again any time.
I certainly could have gone back to a city where I knew people after I graduated from college, but instead I moved to a city where I really only knew one person. And then I moved to a city where I knew no one. I know I can't put all the blame on that one move. Certainly, if all my family had still been in one place after I graduated from college, I might have been more likely to move there. Or, maybe subconsciously I wanted to get away from my family ;-). But we all spread out fairly quickly once Emily went to college and my parents divorced. Before that we were living in different cities, but all within driving distance of one another.
I have a hard time even imagining what it would be like to live in the same city as a family member. I think it would be good, most of the time. It makes me sad to think that I may never live near any of my family again.
5 comments:
amen, sister.
i hear you...and feel these things, too.
I feel the same way and am always considering where I want to be, when it will be possible to move from Florida. You know if some real thought goes into this, we/you can do something about it!
Keep talking
What was David's life like growing up? Did he live in the same place his entire life or move around?
I ask because being a military brat I moved around a lot, whereas Brittany lived in Springfield her entire life surrounded by both sides of her family until we moved to STL. There is definitely a difference between us as far as attachment to places, holiday's, family, friends, etc.
We have been talking a lot (same as you) about what we want to do with our life as far as kids, where to live/start a career, etc. and it has been interesting trying to mesh our two different upbringings.
you know, the other night i dreamt that emily and i moved up to seattle and took your and david's old apartment.
it was cool - a warehouse loft - and you and david left a bunch of furniture (orange and avacado couches from the '70s... don't know where i got that!) for us.
there was a huge back yard and you were showing us all of your gardening that you had done, and your hair was really long like when you were 12!
i hope someday we'll live close together. seattle (or portland?) could be a great place for em and me to land for a while! i think it's worth the effort for sure. i do hope that someday i'll also be close to my family again, although i know that means moving to texas. but you know, austin is a pretty hip town.
Hey Nathan,
David lived in two homes until he went to college, both in the same town. So his experience may be more similar to Brittany's than yours/mine. But he didn't have extended family in the town with him, so his family was a bit more disconnected than one would expect for a one town family.
Mel- I used to have a really cool orange 70's chair...it was totally retro and cool. Unfortch. it didn't match anything else even remotely, so when I moved in with David I got rid of it. I also think that portland or seattle would be a great place for you two. But I also understand wanting to go home nearer to your family. I think I'd have to commit you guys if you chose a city other than Austin in TX. While it would be hard to be in a blue city surrounded by a red state, it certainly is better than living in a red city!
It seems like the sort of questions you are talking about with B. are really the ones to ask when you
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